I was just reflecting yesterday that I don’t know how I used to do it.
It’s the fall of 2023 and a little over 1.5 years since I started my business, leaving a rich and fulfilling corporate career of close to 30 years. In that time I raised twin boys with my husband, travelled extensively around the world for work and pleasure, hosted countless gatherings in our family home, walked the dog (there have been at least five during that time period), took care of all the “stuff” that moms take care of, etc.
It was full.
And for a long stretch during that part of my life, it was BUSY. 😝
And that busyness kept me from living my fullest dreams. From being present with my children. My husband. My family. My friends. My dogs.
And then I realized I had a choice. But that didn’t come easy. I had so many conversations with others who would say variations of “slow down Julie” or “You’re doing too much Julie”.
Or there would be those who would start to try and “fix me” with all these ideas of what I could be doing differently. Or worse, would point out the poor judgements I was making on prioritization or decision-making.
I couldn’t hear them. 👂
I painfully went on my own journey for many years. Ignoring not only what others were telling me but what my body was telling me as well. 😩😡
And then I found someone who really had compassion for me. Saw my inner thoughts and did not judge them. Showed they genuinely cared. 🥰 🫂🤗 And with their guidance, I was able to shift my beliefs about time and business and make that shift from not enough to abundance.
Today I still wake up at 5 am ready to tackle the world. My mind is constantly coming up with ideas for this new thing to do or try. I am always eagerly awaiting the next thing which means I can easily have too many things in my “to-do” bucket.
Not enough time. ⌛
The timing is not right. ⏰
These are common words I hear from my clients when they are in the midst of transformation. Whether it is that first step or the last strand in the rope before letting go of old habits and mindsets – time seems to always be an excuse for why “not now”.🤦
I won’t pretend that there are times even now when I do the same. But I also realize that I’m kidding myself that I don’t have the time. It’s more likely I don’t have the energy. I’m tired. Frustrated with the situation. Maybe even a bit angry that I let myself get into the situation.
So I suck it up, and stay on the current hamster wheel, as a bit of sick punishment for my poor decision-making.🐹
The truth is I likely do have the time. I’ve created a story in my head, often one that is conflated and little regard for possibilities that exist to create more time for myself. For my dreams. For my needs.
Here are 3 secrets I learned in my journey that continue to help me get grounded back into reality and allow me to make decisions that give me an abundance of time. 🤯
1️⃣𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. Whatever situation you are in, regardless of how much you created it, it’s years of bad habits/thinking that let you slip into this situation. Whether you are a people pleaser and/or over achiever and/or perfectionist and/or catastrophize – you came by these mindsets innocently regardless of how sabotaging they can be. Until you take a beat and give yourself some compassion then the judge in you will suggest this is your punishment for this situation you have created. It doesn’t have to be that way.
2️⃣ 𝐆𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐲. For this moment in time. For your life going forward. Creating a strong anchor that you can keep coming back to is key. It’s hard to “not” sweat the small stuff if there is nothing bigger to pull you through.
3️⃣ 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. Sometimes we give up on it ever being anything better than what it is. We don’t admit it to ourselves, because we are bright, intellectual thinkers and we know that sort of thinking is bad. A fixed mindset. But as much as we know it intellectually we don’t really embrace it. Believe that you are capable of achieving that bigger dream for yourself. Believe that you are worthy.
These secrets, which are simply new belief systems that I adopted over time enabled me to get back my time and stop giving it away. 🤯🤔
With these belief systems, you can then effectively implement time-saving hacks for which there is a gazillion. My new favorite with all of my clients is the 5’s strategy. If you don’t think you have the time because you have to do X ask how important really is X. Will it matter in 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months from now if you don’t do it today? Prioritize as such. This helped a client just last week to make the decision to leave their laptop at home for the weekend while they fully shut down for a trip to the cottage.
Today I marvel at how “busy” I used to be as compared to how “full” my life is today. Just removing the word “busy” from my vocabulary was a huge transformation on its own. Saying how busy I was felt like I was making myself a victim. And maybe I actually was a bit of a victim to the workaholic systems I was tied to. But I made a choice, while in that world, to not let the disease of business take me down. 💪
What will you do today to embrace the mindset of abundance of time versus scarcity of time?
Who will you reach out to ask for help or support as you create the full life that you deserve?
What limiting belief will you aspire to let go of that is holding you in the victim mindset or simply that you are not worthy of the things you want to say yes to but are using not enough time as an excuse for not going after them?
If not now then when? ⏱️