Sharing Your Struggling Creates Connection

I have a bad habit of not wanting to appear weak. Particularly in front of the people closest to me. Unless I can turn it into a joke or have the success story to go with it then stoicism is the default play. Which I have learned gets me the exact thing that I most do NOT want. Disconnection.

I read other posts about how there can be too much over sharing within social media these days (don’t worry I’m not going to overshare now if you are one of those who sit in that camp). I get it. It makes you uncomfortable.

It also creates this massive disconnection between you and them. And in the world, we live in these days (and always have) the ability for each of us to self-manage our emotions that we are experiencing every minute of the day is exhausting. And frankly keeps us from being more creative, more collaborative, more productive, etc. We like to think we can (or should) keep our emotions in a box. I’ve never been a big fan of that motto. Boxes explode. And they take up a lot of space compared to the things that are usually inside them.

So what is the answer? No, I don’t have THE answer, but I do have a point of view based on a personal experience I’m going through now. I have a health issue. It’s minor in the big scheme of things but an incredible inconvenience all the same. It causes moments of anxiousness in me which is totally unusual for my normal disposition. That leads to frustration, anger, impatience with others for the littlest of things or even no reason at all. It causes me to not be fully present even when I’m in a once in a lifetime moment.

And I don’t mention it because I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to complain about something there is nothing anyone can really do anything about. I don’t want to be that person that causes you to feel uncomfortable because you don’t know what to say to make me feel better.  I don’t want to be seen as weak. Or the need to be made a fuss over.

But I do need to feel that someone else cares. That they agree it does really suck. That it’s not fair. That my worries are legit and if something does happen, they will do whatever they can in that moment to help me if only that means standing there beside me. That I don’t have to go through this alone.

So ask yourself the question is this “personal” thing keeping you from being present? Is it overpowering your thoughts? Is it impacting how well you show up for others? For yourself? If so, then I don’t think the answer is to create a video and blast it all over the internet. That’s not connection. That’s just communication. But I bet money it’s in your best interest to find someone you can share it with. Even if only a tiny portion of what’s going on for you. Let a little out and see how that feels. Find a person that you would like to have more connection with and find 6-seconds of courage to start the conversation.

And know that if that moment comes where it starts to feel uncomfortable you don’t need to take care of them. But you might say “Thanks for listening. It means a lot just to share this moment with you.” Most often listening is the best thing a person can do for others, and we can all use a bit more practice at it. 🙂

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